What is a lamer?

Just to set the record straight, and for those who ask:" But what is a lamer?" here are some sure signs of utter lameness which should not remain unpunished, categorised for easier referencing (I'm sure this list is far from complete, please feel free to contact me and suggest additions):

The "Beggar" Lamer

- Rom begging on message boards when it is obvious the roms are right there, maybe even at the same site you're begging at (more severe cases are CPS-2 rom begging and rom begging WITH CAPS LOCK ON 'COS YOU'RE LAME AND NEEEEED THOSE ROMS TO SURVIVE)

The "No Future" Lamer

- General vulgarity and abusiveness just because someone has a different opinion and you're so lame you never learned to express youreself properly so all you can do is scream abuse, which is also why you'll be frying chicken breasts at Burger King for the rest of your life.

The "Center of the Universe" Lamer

- Flaming emu authors because your favourite game is not emulated and you can't get it into your lame thick head that the world doesn't revolve around you and that just maybe those other 2000 games which have been emulated already might help you pass the time while you're waiting for your favourite.

The "Trailer Park" Lamer

- Demanding emulators and roms for systems which are currently on the market because it exceeds your intellectual capacity to understand that there is no need for the documentation of these systems bcause they're still on the shop shelves, that there are no roms for these systems because they run with cds or other storage devices, that if there were roms they'd be 1 gig in size and it would take you 1 week to download them on your trailer park connection.

The "Fake Emu" Lamer

- Posting on all the boards about your revolutionary new emu which emulates the latest system when all you did was to take the .exe file from your latest download of someone else's emu and renamed it, thinking you can fool the entire emulation community with all it's talented programmers and computer whizzkids when it's obvious to my grandmother that your programming skills do not exceed those of a dead baby.

The "Fake Hype" Lamer

- Posting fake screenshots to support your claim that you're fake emu really works, wasting everybody's time and thinking you can fool the entire emulation community when a dead baby can tell that your screenshot is manufactured because you used incorrect fonts, colours and compression formats and made a complete arse of yourself while doing so.

The "Leaker" Lamer

- Leaking private betas because for some reason you think it's cool and you'd get public recognition for exploiting the trust which you enjoyed, thinking in your lame head we'd all say:"Well done, you are such a cool guy we'd all love to be as great as you, it takes real skill to leak an emu", while at the same time you were too dim to even zip it up properly in Winzip.

The "Never To Be Seen Again" Lamer

- Thinking that you da man 'cos 2 weeks ago you opened an emu site and put a couple of roms online, therefore feeling the power rush to your head, flaming established members of the emulation community who've been around forever and actually believing you'd get away with that, despite the fact that there are 2 million other roms sites out there who have exactly the same roms as you and who don't feel the need to dish out at other people's expense...doh

The "Warez Puppy" Lamer

- Demanding warez, stating that all software should be free and that everybody is a thief anyway just because you are, on top of the fact that we and the rest of the world owe you these products despite the fact that so far your only productive contribution to society in general was sticking your snot on bus seats on the way to school.

The "Linker" Lamer

- Advertising the huge rom archive on your site only for your visitors to find out that actually you don't have a single rom there but they're all linked to other sites and what's worse that most of these links are dead which highlights several points with regards to your lameness: You lie, you leech off others, you want to get the recognition for other people's hard work, you use other people's bandwidth to achive this but you're not even smart enough to pull off this cheap ride as you've obviously been found out and the links have cahnged. Why is your site still here, why was it there in the first place? What makes you display yourself in front of the whole world as a complete arse? It's 'cos you're a lamer buddy.

The "Holier Than Thou" Lamer

- Thinking you are god just because you spend half your life on the boards, having the ridiculous impression you are a better human being 'cos you know how to get your joystick to work in Mame and as a consequence flaming any newbie who dares ask a question you know the answer to 'cos you're so great and he's so dim knowing yourself that any newbie would piss on you in any field of real life 'cos you're good for nothing which is why you hang around on this one particular board all day in the first place. Thank god we can't see you for ours and for your sake.

The "Spammer" Lamer

Spamming the boards with the same question over and over again although it was explained to you a hundred times that there is no solution to your problem believing that maybe another 100 posts will miraculously produce a solution, your motto being: If there's no solution after asking once, ask, ask again. Maybe your mum should have stopped trying to conceive after the first 100 unsuccessful attempts, something must've been passed on here...

The "Useless Me" Lamer

Being so lame that you can't even be lame properly posting messages with nothing inside but a ? or a ! believing that everybody will think you're really smart 'cos you speak a code language that nobody else can understand. Nice try, slight problem though: If there aren't at least 2 people speaking your language it's a pretty useless form of communication unless you like to talk to yourself. Please try and be lame properly and post your useless gibberish in English or one o the many other officially recognised languages.

The Lamer

- Just being lame for the sake of being lame as lamers do 'cos they're lame and plagued with lameness without the realisation that your decaying existence is not needed anywhere, neither in the emulation scene nor in life in general. How does it feel?

Lamer Related Art

Please feel free to use this art to fight lameness on the boards and on your site, whenever there is a reason to say NOOO!!!

	(by Cronos)
	(by crap man)
(by crap man)	(by Kriz)
(by Christian)