Chapter Four:
Strangers in a Strange Land
By Demon Mind
After a hearty meal at
the McDonalds just down the street from The Cat's Tongue, Emu Force was back on track,
heading north to the mansion that Prophet had spoken about. The trip was fairly peaceful,
(Assyrix and KiLLerCloWn had traded seats, and KiLLerCloWn had too much beef on his arms
to notice Demon Mind's wing,) until they arrived at the city boarders of a small town
called Ashland, where they saw...
"The mansion! Look, up there! At the top of that hill at the end of town!"
UncleVom said excitedly, pointing over the steering wheel. "All we have to do is make
it through this town, and then we can finally kick some Lamer ass." |
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"I wonder how
that LameBot got all the way to us from here..." KiLLerCloWn pondered out loud in the
back seat.
"All LameBots have a 'L33t engine'," UncleVom explained, looking in the rearview
mirror at the muscular clown in the back, "It's stolen warez technology leaked from
Microsoft by a disgruntled employee. Hackers took the tech, and backwards developed it
into the L33t engine, which was then taken by lamers and used to build the LameBots. L33t
engines run off nuclear power... They can hypothetically run for thousands of years
without needing to be recharged."
"Damn," Demon Mind said, looking out of his window at the town slowly passing
by, "Sounds like a messed up episode of X-Files!" |
"Fact is stranger
then fiction, my friend. Shit!" UncleVom swore, swerving off the road and hitting a
light pole, smashing up the front of the EmuMobile as a man jumped in front of the car.
UncleVom flew out of the car, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he
yelled at the man, "You could have been killed!"
"Protect." The man said in a monotone, drool slipping over his lips and down his
chin.
The rest of Emu Force got out of the damaged EmuMobile and looked at the gangly human in
front of them. His eyes were bloodshot, and gaunt. Sunken in like he'd been dead for three
weeks in the hot sun. It looked like clumps of his hair had fallen out. What was left was
sickly looking and greasy, stuck to his head.
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"Jesus,"
Crap Man said, squinty at the guy, "What the hell's wrong with him?"
"If this is what I think it is," UncleVom said peering around, "Then we
could be in trouble."
As if on cue, hundreds of practically skeletal people flooded out of every possible
direction. Out of alleys and buildings and even a few from cars parked along the road, all
moaning the same thing over and over, "Protect."
KiLLerCloWn clenched his fists, popping five knuckle spikes out of his gloves on each
hand. "What's going on, man? This is freaking me out!"
"Just as I feared," UncleVom said, reaching to the side of his belt and taking
what looked to be the handle of a pirate's sword off it. He pushed a button on the inside
of the hand guard, and a curved light blue plasma blade erected itself from the handle.
"The Unclean. This entire town has been infected by the Lamer Sympathy Virus, LSV.
They think that lamers are cool, and will defend them mindlessly."
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"Zombies."
GreyBrain said, drawing his laser from it's holster, "We're fighting zombies."
"Basically. And we're going to have to gut a whole town of them to reach that
mansion."
"There's no other way?" Demon Mind asked, his hands glowing in preparation for
the oncoming onslaught.
"No, anyone infected with the LSV virus is a lost cause. It's best to just put them
out of their misery."
"Well, let's get busy, then!" Assyrix said, reaching inside the car, and
unataching his metal staff from the top.
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"Let's take the
fight to them!" Crap Man yelled, charging into the field of slow moving LSV created
zombies, leaping into the air, and kicking it in the upper body, causing the area he
kicked to splattering on the concrete behind it like rotten meat, with Crap Man's foot
stuck in it's chest. "Ohh, eww!" Crap Man said, disgusted, before doing a spin
kick, rotating his foot in the thing's chest, and carrying his other foot up to it's head,
kicking it clean off.
"Looks like we've gotta go for the heads, boys!" Assyrix yelled, jumping into
the fray and swinging his staff at another of the creature's necks, going through it like
butter.
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"'Course it's
gotta be for the heads... Always the heads. You know, I HATE zombie movies."
GreyBrain muttered to himself, aiming his laser at a zombie's neck five feet away, and
firing. The laser made a sizzling noise as it cut a clean hole through the zombie's
throat, causing a pitch sludge to seep down the front of it's neck, and across it's
stained and ratty white t-shirt. It tried to moan the word protect again, but all it could
do was mouth the word, as a bubble of the sludge bulged out of it's neck wound and popped,
covering it with more of it's dark blood.
"Uhh, guys?" GreyBrain said, backing away from the advancing creature, "I
didn't exactly come prepared for a fight like this..."
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"Just fire and
swing your arm to the right!" KiLLerCloWn yelled, punching an LSV zombie in the jaw
making it fly off with a sickening crackle of bone before his other fist swung around the
other way and knocked it's head in the opposite direction.
GreyBrain aimed his laser at the side of the zombie's neck and fired, moving his arm to
the left. A thin line appeared on the thing's throat, and it stood there motionless for a
second, until the head tumbled backwards and the body fell forwards.
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The battle raged on
for three hours, as Emu Force slowly cut a path through the town to the mansion on the
hill, leaving a pile of limbs, torsos, and ichor blood in their wake, until the town was
defeated, and not a single "Protect" was heard. By the end of the battle, they
were all weary, and decided to camp out at the bottom of the hill for the night. Arthur
Night Wolf wasn't going anywhere.
END CHAPTER 4. :-) |
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